Adventures in Sobriety : Part Un

I'm not drinking.

This will shock and amuse my friends. It will please and humor my mother.

No its not a sort of take it easy for a while, which quickly descends back into drinker-ville, but a real life down to earth month long break from the bottle.

It began with a casual handshake (to be fair I was still recovering from the weekend long hangover and hardly realized what I was agreeing to) for a two, wait three, nope count 'em four week break which allowed the occasional glass of wine (red because its heart healthy).

Last night marked my first night out sans alcohol. At a Rolling Stones Magazine Malibu Open Bar nonetheless. A few observations:

1. The drunk girl- she's kind of obnoxious and makes you feel a little embarrassed for her; not necessarily the person you want to become when you're wearing a satin dress and knee high boots (or a gray AA t-shirt and a vest for that matter).
2. I miss dancing sober- When I was a freshman in college I used to go to Lotus, when it opened in 2001 and you could still go see the not yet famous Paris Hilton being cock slapped on the basement dance floor (I mean this literally) ; I was poor, there were no open bars, yet somehow every wednesday I made it out on the dance floor and stayed till four in the morning without a buzz. Long after all my friends had abandoned ship, I rocked on. I missed that, it was nice to remember that I don't need two beers and a shot of jack to shake my thang on the dance floor.
3. Not drinking on the one night all your girlfriend's finally get together, sort of makes you the butt of all their jokes. Take it in stride, they still love you.
   
4. Not having a hangover Friday morning is quite supreme.
   
5. Unless you're completely lame, the night will be just as fun sober and more memorable to boot, as it was when you were drinking.
6. Once you stop drinking all your usually sober-ish friends will decide to pick up the bottle and invite you to a bar. They will then ridicule you for not drinking when they're drinking and try to tempt you into drinking again. (This is really an amendment to number 3, maybe they don't still love you. Bastards.)

(Forgot: Seeing Mario Van Peebles parade around the party like the B celebrity that he is, second best part of the night. Running through the windy street with city grit whipping our faces and acting like goofballs was the first.)